Eventually, with the help of a friend, pretty much his only friend, he got on to another college course, or should I say the same course, but at a different college. He was starting to make new friends again, inviting them round to hang out at home. He still rarely left the house, unless it’s for college. But he was socialising more and playing his computer less, which for me was nice to see. He’s never been a social butterfly, but I knew he would never learn, if he didn’t put himself out there.
Relationships are a tentative subject. I want my child to have friends, I feel sad that my son can’t maintain friendships, but at the same time, a new relationship scares me.
For years my son has struggled with friends, as I have talked about in my book. He was the one not invited to birthday parties. He’s the one who has never had a birthday party, because I wouldn’t be able to invite anyone and I wouldn’t want to put him in the position where no one turned up. It leaves a feeling that’s difficult to explain. Imagine if your child was the one who was always left out, at sports, at parties, the one who other parents, and teachers, said not to play with, because he’s naughty. It’s a horrid feeling, knowing your child is being ostracised from society because he’s different.
I didn’t want to hinder the friendships he was making, but at the same time I was nervous that they wouldn’t like the person he is. He is unpredictable, he does lose his temper, he does say things he doesn’t mean, to protect himself from the outside world.
Would they be able to put up with his moods?
Would they turn their back on him in week, or a months’ time, when things started getting rough?
Would he put his faith in them, for them to simply take advantage like so many others have in the past?
Despite my concerns, I encouraged him to make friends, invite them round, or even go out. I do want him to learn how to socialise, to learn how to be around other people, and how to maintain those friendships.
Unfortunately during December, the friendship group started to grow, and grow, and grow!
To Be Continued…